The spider, my master teacher, Part 4

Dreaming, weaving, and embodying a whole new web of life in the age of Covid-19 amid sweeping social, economic and political transformation.

A web of disempowerment and separation

Now that I am very gratefully back in my body,, I have come to really, really appreciate it. I realize that basically all of my life I have taken my body for granted and not truly honored it as the sacred temple of my soul and as the vehicle through which I experience the incredible deliciousness of life and of 3-D relationships, especially with Jaime, Sean, and so many of you.

As one who has meditated for over 50 years, I have come to understand that, on one level, “I am not my body.” Yes, I get that, but I’m certainly very happy, blessed, and grateful to be back in my body and to be able to experience a walk outside during this glorious spring; the smell of flowers blooming; the resplendent, beautiful colors of the trees and plants; the singing of the birds; sweet sleep; the delightful taste and smell of foods; the wiggling of my toes; an in-breath and an out-breath. How blessed I am and so are we all.

It’s truly time to come to peace with my body and to honor and listen to all the trillions of cells that support me through my 3-D experience. This was not something I was doing that well up to now. The body has a wisdom and is always speaking to us. We just need to learn how to listen it.

As well, having very viscerally experienced my mortality face-to-face during this experience, I was also unceremoniously introduced to my immortality. They are one and the same, actually, and can only be known as we fully face and embrace them both. Just as my master teacher, the spider, had to almost die to get my attention, I, too, needed to almost die in order to re-member who I am and what I really came here to be, become, and experience. In all the hyper activity I was engaged in, I actually was running away from death—my mortality—and, as well, I was running away from my immortality—my divinity—which is who I really am. I have come to see that almost all of us are actually afraid to face both of these. And this ultimately translates into the fact that we are afraid to face life itself.

I now realize more than ever how deeply I was caught up in patterns of thought and emotion that are simply the deep-rooted vestiges of a lack-based un-illuminated belief system of separation, suffering, and soullessness. Yes, I was on the spiritual path all my life, but I wasn’t really being fully honest with myself, however much I was endeavoring to be. I had aimed high, but missed the mark.

It’s become so clear to me that it is time to finally and fully recalibrate and release my attachment to fear, striving, and ego attachment—all of which were clouding my vision and enmeshing me in a web of disempowerment and separation.

As well, these issues are some of our many collective, deeply-embedded biases, shadows, and blind spots. How do we gracefully move into our next evolutionary chapter? It’s both an inside job and an outside job. As Ken Wilber has reminded us, we need to “wake up” (go within); “grow up” (take full responsibility); and “clean up” (create the new human and build a new earth).

The goal is inner simplicity and outer harmony.

To be continued in Part 5.

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